“Catch your children doing something right instead of doing something wrong. Remind them of their greatness on a daily basis.” Dr. Wayne Dyer.
How often do we try and catch someone out?
How often do we point out a person's flaws or shortcomings?
"You did this" we might exclaim.
"Why didn't you do that?" We may ask indignantly.
"Where were you when I needed you?" Is another question we ask in order to make the other person feel guilty.
Eckhart Tolle tells us, in one of his posts, that when he borrowed a car from a friend, he left the headlights on all night. Subsequently the battery was flat when the owner wanted to use the car, in order to get to work, the following morning. Eckhart says the owner simply stated that the car battery was flat as the headlights had been left on all night. He did not blame Eckhart for this he just stated a fact. This amazed Eckhart to such an extent that he remembers the incident years later.
How often do we say things like,
"You left the gate open."
"Your forgot to buy milk."
You didn't turn the t.v. on, put the cat out, feed the dog, phone your mother, or any amount of misdeeds that we can come up with that someone did or did not do.
We are so quick to judge, blame and criticise.
What if we were to take note of what Dr. Wayne Dyer suggests and find people doing good or getting things right, instead of instantly blaming folks for all their wrong doings.
What if we said, thank you, when someone remembers to buy the milk and ignore the fact that they left the cat in all night long.
What if we praised someone for sweeping up a pile of dirt but forget about the fact that they'd left the pile there for us to clear up.
In positive reward dog training or any positive reward animal training, you reward good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour.
You can teach people in much the same way, by praising or rewarding good behaviour.
Pointing out bad behaviour in humans is the hard way.
Rewarding good behaviour by smiles, kisses, hugs, praise or by any other positive means, is a simple and more effective way.
When we judge, moan, complain, or criticise all the time this can often end up with us in a bad mood because life is not going the way WE want it to go.
If we spend more time praising and congratulating people then life would be more fun, happier, more carefree and more enjoyable.
Years ago I went to my younger daughter's end of year presentation afternoon.
Nearly all the children, one by one, received an award or a certificate and these children remained on the stage. At the end of the afternoon there were about five children left in the audience, along with all the parents.
I asked the head mistress why this was the case and she replied that they had not been good. They had not earned any reward or certificate.
I thought that surely the head mistress could come up with something. Even if it was that the child had attended school for one day out of 365. However the head mistress was adamant that these were bad children, they had done nothing to be proud of in a whole year.
How sad was that, for the children, I mean and how sad that the head mistress could not come up with some better idea than to have these young children stick out like sore thumbs as 'naughty children' or 'children not worthy of any award.'
Copyright Barbara Burgess 2016
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